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Martini Therapy: Alcoholism as a Fashion Statement

  • The only psychological disorder that is correlated with increased violence rates is substance abuse.
  • You are more likely to be killed by a drunk driver than a stranger with mental illness. (Alcohol is involved in between 40 and 60% of all traffic fatalities.)
  • One or both individuals has been using alcohol or drugs in most cases of sexual assault.

You know the drill. Drinking excessively is bad for you.

And physiological effects aside, drinking is not a healthy way to regularly deal with problems and stress. It's passive, avoidant, and will drop you into an alcoholic pattern faster than anything else. So start saving for therapy, your whole family's going to need it by the time you're done.

I'm not talking about a drink in the evening, or one here and there with friends. I'm talking about abuse, dependence, the problematic stuff. Looking forward to getting buzzed or drunk to help you deal with your life. Using it like therapy, say.

So what in hell is THIS?

That, my friend, is a $40 t-shirt suggesting that 3 martinis is as good as therapy. Maybe better.

If it were the first I'd seen, I'd roll my eyes and move on. But it's not the first I've seen. In fact, I've started seeing this sort of thing on pajamas.

And juuuuust in case you're not convinced it's really bad for's one of my favorite pictures. It makes the ol' "This is Your Brain on Drugs" frying pan look pretty good.

And people wonder why today's starlets are bombing at the VMAs because they're (allegedly) too drunk to perform (one hopes she had an excuse), or failing to show up to movie sets and landing in rehab.


  1. Unknown said...
    Ah, alcohol. The solution to, and cause of, all life's problems.

    Rossweisse said...
    Ick! To what extent is the damage reversible with consistent moderation. I just wonder for the sake of the starlets in rehab whose brains are not quite desiccated yet...

    R // who rarely drinks more than a glass of wine a week
    Carolyn Kaufman | @CMKaufman said...
    Unfortunately, once neurons have been destroyed like in the picture, they don't grow back. They're just...gone. That's why there's so much extra space in the grooves of the brain. (You can actually see the corpus callosum on the last brain, which flabbergasts me.)

    Alzheimer's Disease does the same thing to the brain, obviously -- that's why it's irreversible.

    So...your body may recover some, but your neurons won't!

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