Archetype Writing Blog

I'm up on the blog chain again (again! so soon! eek!).  This time Sandra chose the topic, which is

Do you write romantic relationships in your books? If so, what do you do to show the attraction between your characters? What problems do your characters encounter? What qualities do you think make a romantic relationship work in fiction?

I do write romantic relationships in my books.  Relationships in general fascinate me, but the romantic dynamics of a good couple are even better.

What do you do to show the attraction between your characters?

I try to show attraction the way real people show attraction. They look at each other more than at other people, they're comfortable in each other's space, they talk about the person often and with feeling.

What problems do your characters encounter?

In real life, finding and getting along with your “other half” is difficult. Have you ever read a story in which the characters constantly misunderstand, insult, and stonewall each other, yet by the last page you’re to believe that they will live happily ever after with none of the conflict that filled every page before the last? In real life, it doesn’t work that way, and it shouldn’t in fiction, either. Conflict is the engine that keeps every story going, and the love relationships between your characters are one of the most important parts of that engine.

A problem I see in some fiction is that there is no reason for the characters to fall for each other or be in love -- other than the fact that they're both excruciatingly hot, of course.  As in real life, your characters should be attracted to the people they're attracted to for a reason.  What attracted your character to the love interest in the first place?  What needs does the love interest fulfill?  Why is the love interest different from all the other men and women out there?

In real life people choose the partners they do for all kinds of reasons, some of them noble and romantic, some of them less so.  For example, maybe they had great "chemistry" with the person. Maybe they had a lot in common.  Maybe they need to feel needed.  Maybe they wanted to get out of their parents' house.  Maybe they were ready to settle down.  Maybe they needed someone to help them parent a child.  Regardless, there is definitely a reason other than that someone needed them together to make a particular storyline work.

And once people are together, why do they stay together?  Doing couples therapy was always a fascinating endeavor, because couples with enormous problems would come in and complain about each other and the relationship -- but still want to make it work.  They still loved each other.  And they could usually tell you why.

In my stories, relationships are usually messy.  People say the wrong things,. have affairs, and hurt each other -- sometimes accidentally and sometimes on purpose.  Ex-partners create havoc, hidden histories drive wedges, but in the end love always prevails for me.  I like to pretend to be pragmatic and sensible, but the truth is that I'm a hopeless romantic, and in my stories, love really is the greatest power of all.

What qualities do you think make a romantic relationship work in fiction?

I'm most drawn to fictional relationships where there is a strong, identifiable reason for an attraction at the same time there are problems (internal or external to the relationship) that are trying to tear the couple apart.  Right now I'm writing about a couple with tons of chemistry and lots in common -- the only problem is their respective peoples hate each other.  In other stories, I've let misunderstandings or mistakes be what kept the characters apart.  For me, the attraction to each other has to be stronger than the problems, but not by much. The characters have to keep coming together the way a pair of magnets will.  They might push against each other, but inevitably, they snap together and hold on.

What do you think, dear readers?  How would you answer Sandra's questions?  I'm looking forward to reading your thoughts!  Also be sure to check out Kate's answer -- she's next in the blog chain!